The land of the Gentiles                                                       

It is early spring of my twenty-ninth year. At the Sea of Harp, the peak season for sardine fishing is approaching. Especially at Kursi, on the side of the Gadarenes, they gather to spawn. Kursi lies at the end of a large valley that continues as a sandbank into the lake. Special water tanks have been built in the town with fresh water from the river to keep the fish alive. At the end of the morning, they are transported to Magdala, where they are salted in the fish factories and packed for storage and export.

The fish spawn before daybreak. You can catch them with cast nets. Behind the sardines come the barbel, which try to eat the exhausted young parents. In the early morning, the barbel are fished with trawl nets. My friends fish every night until sunrise. After they have taken their catch away, they sleep until noon. Then they prepare their nets again at the Seven Springs. I work as a servant, but during the day I talk to the people passing by on the main road about the kingship of God. I often use one of the boats to address a larger group of people.

Today there are many people sitting on the rocks around the cove listening. Many have remained faithful. But not everyone has followed us. And not everyone who followed us is still with us. I tell them a parable.

"A sower went out to sow a field. As he sowed, some seeds fell on the road and were trampled on, or the birds ate them. Other seeds fell on the rocks. When they grew up, they withered quickly because they had no roots in moist soil. Still other seeds fell among the thistles. The thistles grew up with the wheat and choked it before it could bear fruit. But the seeds that fell on good soil sprouted and bore much fruit: some thirtyfold, some sixtyfold, and some a hundredfold. He who has ears to hear, let him hear!"

A disciple asks me to explain.

"You have been entrusted with the secret of God's kingship because you listen to my words. For those who remain outside, it remains just a beautiful story. They do not ask questions because they do not want to listen.

The seed is the message of God's kingship. Some trample it underfoot and remove it before it takes root. In others, it does sprout, but its roots are only superficial. When times get tough, it withers away. Still others let it be suffocated by the worries of poverty, the desire for pleasure, or the deceit of wealth. The message has not changed them, and they do not pass it on. But in those who receive it in good soil, it matures, and they show dozens of others the way to God's kingship.

For the message must be passed on. No one lights an oil lamp and hides it under the bed. You put it on a stand so that everyone who comes in can see the light."

*

Then I send the people away. It is time to load the boat and set sail with the other fishing boats for the sandbank of Kursi. Because I have not slept during the day, I fall asleep like a log.

Suddenly, they shake me awake. "Master, help, we're sinking!" The east wind is much stronger than usual tonight. The boat is rocking up and down on the high waves. These storms are notorious among fishermen. There is mortal fear in their eyes. Some even forget to hold on tight. They scream in panic. "Be quiet!" I shout. Then it becomes silent. Not only are my friends silent, but the wind also dies down. My father is merciful. "Why were you so panicked? Trust in God, our lives are in his hands."

The boat has drifted far to the wrong side of the lake. We row back east. There is little time left to catch sardines with the cast nets. At sunrise, we therefore decide to continue with the trawl net to catch bearded fish. A trawl net is hundreds of meters long and is hung in the water like a wall from the boat. Wooden blocks at the top and stones at the bottom of the net keep it taut. At the two ends, which are less deep, there are ropes with which the net is pulled ashore. One person stays behind in the boat to make sure that the net does not get caught on rocks on the bottom.

I help pull the net ashore. It takes about an hour per round. On the slope about a hundred meters south of us, a group of pigs graze on the spring grass. The land here is not Jewish; most of the people are Syrians.

A man approaches me. He is naked, dirty, and covered in scratches. Grave chambers have been carved into the rocks near the shore. He must have spent the night there. He starts shouting at me. "What are you doing here, son of God?" It is the voice of the devil again. But I feel stronger now.

"And who are you?"

"We are Legion."

"Leave this man alone."

The man runs away screaming and starts throwing stones in all directions. The pigs panic and rush down the slope. Those at the back push those in front, and a large part of the herd falls into the water and drowns. The pig herders run back to the city in fear.

They return with the owners of the pigs and curious onlookers from the town. We have given the man clothes. He is calm now. The people look on in amazement. Then someone tells us that this man is regularly tied up because he is unmanageable, but in his outbursts he tears the ropes as if they were threads. Yet they show little joy, rather anger at the loss of their pigs. They ask us to leave them alone. When we return, the healed man wants to come with us. But I send him back to his own home and family. "Tell them what God has done for you."

*

 

Back in Capernaum, Jairus comes to us. I am glad, because since the rejection by the scribes he has avoided me and has not asked me to speak at the meeting. Then he kneels before me, begging. "My little daughter has been sick for some time and now she is dying. Come and lay your hands on her. Heal her!' The poor man. The child, twelve years old, is his only child and the light of his eyes. He must have been torn apart all this time by his fear of the teachers of the law and his love for his daughter. Of course, I go with him.

On the way, people crowd around us. Everyone is excited that the leader of the gathering has let himself go like this. Suddenly, I feel power emanating from me. I stand still and turn around. "Who touched me?" My disciples think it's a ridiculous question in this crowd. But I also see a young woman. She is trembling with fear. I take her by the hands and ask her who she is. Her name is Verènike, a Syrian from Caesarea of Philip. She began menstruating twelve years ago and has not stopped since. She has spent a fortune on all kinds of doctors, but the bleeding has only gotten worse. Then she heard about me. She did not think that a Jewish master would want to help a pagan woman, so she decided to secretly touch my cloak to see if it could heal her.

"Daughter, your faith has not failed you. Go in peace."

While we are still talking, people come out of Jairus' house to him. The girl has died. But I feel that my father wants to spare this father this grief. "Don't be afraid, have faith. Your daughter will wake up." When we enter the house, the mourners have already arrived. They earn their living by wailing heartbreakingly. "Leave the girl alone," I say, "she is sleeping." They start laughing. I send everyone outside. Only Peter, John, and his brother James I allow to accompany the parents and myself. I see the girl lying there and take her hand. "Girl, get up." Her parents watch in dismay as she stands up. "Dear people, don't stand there. Take her in your arms, give her something to eat." As we leave, I arrange with Jair that he will tell the people that she was asleep.

*       *

 

But rumors spread quickly, and the people, always eager for great things, come after me. I decide to go to Nazareth. Unfortunately, when I arrive, it is no different there. The people want to see tricks from their famous fellow villager. But that is not how God works, and I cannot heal anyone.

When the day of rest arrives, we go to the meeting. Once again, I am asked to give a lecture. When I deliver the message of the kingship of God, I see people muttering disapprovingly. "Is this construction worker telling us to repent? We know him, his brothers, and his sisters from when they were little. The son of Mary, born of fornication. Who knows if Joseph was even his father? And aren't those healings in Capernaum just fishermen's tales?"

It's all too much for me. 'Nowhere is a prophet without honor except in his own country and in his own town. You say, "Go to the doctor and see what he can do for you," but why do you think no one here is healed? A pagan at Kursi was healed, and a Syrian woman from Caesarea of Philip was healed too. It was no different in the days of the prophet Elijah. When the famine came, God did not send him to one of the widows in Israel, but to a widow in a village near Sidon, on the coast of Lebanon. He saved her son from death. In the days of his successor Elisha, there were many lepers in Israel, but he healed only Naaman the Syrian. Let God heal you of your errors: repent. For there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth when you see Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and all the prophets, standing in God's kingdom, but you yourselves are cast out. For they will come from the east and the west, and from the north and the south, and they will lie down at the wedding feast of God. There will be those who are last who will be first, and those who are first who will be last. For they will come from east and west and from north and south, and they will recline at the wedding feast of God. There are last who will be first, and first who will be last.

Once outside the meeting, hotheads come toward us. They don't like the message at all. Their language becomes increasingly threatening. They almost knock us over. We leave the village as quickly as possible.

It is sad that my own name is becoming an obstacle to God's message. Everywhere our group goes, the thrill seekers come after us. We no longer have a chance to speak to the people ourselves. I feel that my father is asking me to choose a different way of working. Isn't that why he gave me disciples?

I call the Twelve together:

"The time has come for you to apply what you have learned. Speak of the kingdom of God, heal the sick, cast out demons."

I send them out two by two. I lay my hands on them and tell them that God makes them stronger than the powers of darkness.

"But practice that trust in God: Take nothing with you for the journey, no walking stick, no travel bag, no bread, no money, and not even extra underwear. Stay where they welcome you and leave where they do not want you. A disciple is not above his master, nor a servant above his master. If they say I am a devil, do not expect them to welcome you as their saviors."

We will meet in Capernaum, a week before Passover.

 

Death                                                                               

When I am the first to return to Capernaum, two of John's disciples are waiting for me. "Is everything all right?" I ask. They shake their heads. We hurry inside. "He is dead. Last week, Herod celebrated the beginning of his thirty-eighth year of reign with a great banquet. To show his confidence in his enemy Aretas, he celebrated in Machaerus with his ministers, his generals, and the elite of the country. There, Herodias' daughter danced and enthralled the entire company. It had only been a year since her husband Philip had died. Herod, who was quite drunk, said to the young woman, "Ask me for anything you want, and I will give it to you." "Anything?" she asked. And he swore to her, "Whatever you ask me, I will give you, up to half of my kingdom." She asked her mother what she should ask for. And her mother said, "The head of John the Baptist." She went back to Herod and immediately asked for the head of our master on a platter. Although Herod had protected him from Herodias until then, he did not dare to break his oath in front of his guests. When we heard this the next day from a court servant, we could only get his body to bury. His head had been brought to Herodias.

When they leave, I walk out of the city. I want to be alone. The man who was my brother and father is dead. He died in the service of God. Where is God's kingdom when this happens? Herodias rages like Queen Jezebel did centuries ago against the prophets of God. She too forced her husband, the king, to join her. Just as I am now, Elijah went into solitude and said to God, "It is enough! Now take my life, for I am no better than my fathers." But a messenger of God summoned him to the mountain where Moses had received the law.

Sitting on the mountain above the Seven Springs, sheltered in a hollow in the slope, I look out over the Sea of the Harp. Here I have spoken to the people about God's kingship. Here was the conflict with the messengers of the Baptist. Here wonderful things happened that proved God's kingship. But halfway across the lake tonight, I see the lights of the city of Tiberias, where Herod's palace stands. He must be back from his party by now. I wonder if Chusas was there. I feel sick when I think about what happened there.

It resembles what the prophet Isaiah said about the servant of the Lord:

            Who believes what we have heard, and who sees the hand of the Lord?
            He was despised and rejected, he was despised, and we did not esteem him.
            He was pierced for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities.
            He bore the punishment that brings us peace; by his wounds we are healed.
            He was mistreated, but remained silent like a lamb led to the slaughter.
            Like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, he did not open his mouth.

            He was arrested and executed, dying childless.
            It was the will of the Lord that he should be crushed and suffer.
            But though he was offered as a guilt offering, he will see his offspring.
            Because of the suffering of his soul, he will see the light.
            For by his knowledge the righteous will make many righteous.
            Because he poured out his soul in death and bore the sins of many.           Isaiah 53, selection

But John did not live with the words of Isaiah as I do. Suddenly, an oppressive feeling creeps over me. Simon the Leper had said that the Anointed One would die. And John's father, Zacharias, had prophesied that a son of David would save the people from the punishment for their sins... "Father, what do you want from me?"

       *      

 

The next day, the Twelve return. They know nothing yet of the death of the Baptist and are only enthusiastic about their experiences. It is very busy, with people coming to greet them. I cannot find a moment to tell them the bad news. When everyone is finally there, I ask them to cross over in Peter and Zebedee's boats to the wilderness of Bethsaida, where it is quiet.

On the way, I tell them about the death of the Baptist, and when we reach shore, I also tell the men from the other boat. Everyone is shocked. They now understand why I wanted to be alone. But we are not alone. People from Capernaum and Bethsaida have seen us sailing and have walked along the shore to get here. I see them walking like lost sheep in a field. God does not want us to remain stuck in our grief; there is work to be done. As the day progresses, more and more people arrive. Men, mostly. They are rebels from the district of Gamla, not far from here. They have heard that John is dead and ask what we are going to do now. "We will continue to proclaim God's kingship."

Towards evening, my disciples ask me to send the people home so they can buy food before dark. But it seems dangerous to send these men to the towns here, and the road back to Gamla is dark and full of rocky gorges. Besides, there are far too many of them, thousands I estimate. "Don't you have any bread for them?" Philip replies irritably, "My annual income is not enough to buy bread for all these people." "But what do we have here?" Andrew comes up with a little boy. "This boy has five barley loaves and two salted sardines, but what is that for so many people?"

I recognize that question. Once, someone brought the prophet Elisha twenty barley loaves, the first fruits of the harvest. Elisha asked him to give them to the people. "Are a hundred men to eat this?" he was asked. But God said to Elisha, "They shall eat and have some left over." He gave them to the people, and they ate and had some left over.

That is why I take what is given to me. I ask the Twelve to seat the people in groups on the young grass. I say the blessing over the meal and praise God's name. Then I distribute it. I don't know how many loaves I have broken, but everyone has eaten and we have more left over than we started with.

Then some men stand up. "Jesus, you are sent by God. You must be our king. God will help us punish Herod and reunite Israel." I am greatly alarmed. That is why these thousands of rebels have come. They do not want to understand our work. I tell everyone to stand up and send them home. I ask my disciples to get into the boats without me. I want to be alone and retreat to the hills.

From the hills, I see how a strong west wind is taking hold of the lake. My friends seem to be making little progress. I decide to walk back to Capernaum. When I arrive, I see the boats on the rough water. They are not far from the harbor. I call out to them, but they cannot hear me in the storm. I realize that they can hardly see where the shore begins. They have no idea that they are already so close to shore. One of the boats is heading straight for the rocks of the harbor pier. I quickly run toward them. When I am close to them, they see me. They are so startled, it is as if they have seen a ghost. I call out that it is me, and they calm down. Peter wants to come to me and steps overboard. He almost drowns, but I manage to grab him just in time. Only then do they see that they are at the harbor.

*       *

 

The next day, people who were with us when we ate the bread come to me. But I don't want a repeat of what happened there, so I send them away. "The kingdom of God is not of this world."

When the day of rest arrives that evening, Jair asks me to speak again. Although many people have gone to Jerusalem for the upcoming Passover, the meeting house is still full. Those who stayed behind are also celebrating the feast, and many of those who rarely attend the meetings come especially for this occasion. "Do not see me as your king, as the Rebels want. See me as a priest of God who brings you His blessing. Just as Melchizedek came from heaven to bless Abraham with bread and wine."

"But what bread do you bring from heaven? Moses gave the people 'manna', edible seeds that were carried by the wind and rained down on the people in the desert."

"I will die as the lamb is slaughtered at Passover. I give you my flesh and blood as a sacrifice for the sins of Israel. Whoever accepts my sacrifice will live forever through God's forgiveness. I am the servant of the Lord and not a rebel leader."

The people turn away from me. "This is crazy, why are we listening to this? This is Yeshua, the son of Joseph and Mary, whom everyone in Capernaum knows. How can he call himself bread from heaven? How can he want us to eat his flesh and drink his blood as if they were bread and wine? God has forbidden us to eat blood. Is there a greater mockery of the law imaginable?"

"Are you offended by these words? I understand you. But these are the words of the Spirit. But you will also understand me when you see the Son of Man in his heavenly glory."

Even my students think I go too far. They leave the meeting with regret in their eyes. Have I misunderstood everything? I look at the Twelve. "Are you going to leave me too?" But Peter replies, "Where to? You have words of eternal life, and we have realized that." I am incredibly grateful to him, and also to the other Simon, who had to choose between me and his Rebel friends. "You twelve have been chosen rightly, and one of you is even a Rebel."

 

On the run                             

Shortly afterwards, Chusas comes to me to warn me. Herod has heard about the meeting between the Rebels and me at Bethsaida. At the palace, it is said that a new John has risen. Herod has ordered that I be brought to him.

We flee headlong to the Syrian coast. On the way, the first day of rest after Passover begins. We camp in the field, but we have nothing to eat. My friends and I pick ripe ears of corn to get something to eat. Some rub the ears to remove the husks. According to the teachers of the law, this is work. Someone asks if they are violating the day of rest. But I answer that the day of rest is for people, not the other way around. "Haven't you read about David and his men when he fled from King Saul? He entered the sanctuary of God and took the bread that was before God, which only the priests may eat. David gave it to his men, for necessity knows no law."

*

I have friends who live near Sidon. Just as the prophet Elijah once found refuge there, I want to hide there until the king's interest wanes. It is strange to live among the pagans. So many people around you who do not know God. What will become of them? In the scroll of Isaiah there is another word about the servant of the Lord:

            Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations.
            The Lord called me from the womb; from the womb he named me.
            He made my mouth like a sharp sword, a bow in his hand.
            But I have labored in vain and wasted my strength...

            But now the Lord who appointed me to bring Israel to him says:
            "This is what the Lord says to those who are despised, to those rejected by the nation:
            It is too small a thing that you should bring back the remnant of Israel to Me.
            I will make you a light to the nations, my salvation to the world."        
                                                                                                                                                         Isaiah 49:1-7, selection

Perhaps He is saying this to me. "If that is so, Father, please make it known to me!"

As we leave the house, a woman clings to me. She is a pagan woman from the neighborhood. She tells me that her little daughter is possessed and begs me to heal her child. I remain silent. God, give me a sign of your will, I pray. The woman continues to cry for help. My disciples are annoyed. "Send her away or heal her, or everyone will know we are here."

"Didn't God send me to the lost sheep of Israel?"

She falls at my feet: 'Lord, help me.'

'Can I take the bread of God's children and give it to the dogs?'

'Yes, Lord, you may. For do not the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from the children's table?'

"Woman, your faith is great. What you say is true, and what you ask will be given to you. Go home to your daughter. She is healed."

We continue on to the Cities of the League in eastern Syria. We speak at Damascus, where Ananias becomes a disciple. And God performs healings. A deaf and mute man is brought to me. I take him aside. But he cannot understand me. I lay my hands on his ears. I pray to God to open them and kiss his tongue. And God heals him.

At Bethsaida, where Philip lives, some of the disciples are able to cross the border to Capernaum. While the rest wait for them, a blind man is brought to us. I take him outside the village. We must not be discovered here. I kiss his eyes and hold my hands over them. I ask him what he can see. "I can see people, but only vaguely, as if they were walking trees." I take my hands away. "What do you see now?" "I can see clearly again." I send him away but ask him not to go into the village until the group is complete. Then we pick up and head north, to the villages around Philip's Caesarea.

On the way, I think about everything that has happened to me this summer. My father has made a lot of things clear to me, but I still have so many questions. I pray about it with my friends. Then I ask them point-blank:

"Who do you think I am?"

"Some say the Baptist, or Elijah, or the Prophet Moses promised."

"But you, who do you say I am?"

"The Anointed One of God," Peter answers.

"Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for human wisdom has not revealed this to you. My Father has revealed it to you. But know this: the Son of Man will suffer and be rejected. He will be arrested and put to death."

"God will prevent that."

"Get away from me, Simon! You cannot follow me. You do not speak like God, but like the devil who wants to thwart God's plans. If anyone wants to follow me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. Whoever tries to escape death will lose the life that God gives him. Whoever loses his life in the hands of the kings of the earth will find it in the hands of God. What good is it to gain the whole world at the cost of your soul? But I feel that it will not be long before the kingdom of God becomes visible."

 

Paganism I                                                   

When we arrive in Caesarea, we are warmly welcomed by Verènike. The woman is so happy that she has been healed of her chronic menstruation that she has told everyone here about me. I feel uncomfortable because their admiration for me and my disciples borders on worship.

An astrologer is enthusiastic. "You and John were born ten years after Herod Antipas ascended the throne, in the three hundred and eleventh year of our Syrian calendar. In that year, Quirinius became governor of Syria and Judea. It was calculated that in the spring, the ruler of the world would come to Judea. Jupiter and Mercury came together in the constellation of Aries. In astrology, this is a clear sign: the Ruler and his Messenger are coming together in Judea. Moreover, Jupiter rose in the east just before sunrise. Some suggested that Quirinius might become the new emperor. He said he wanted nothing to do with it, but he did have a commemorative coin struck with an image of a ram seeing a star in the east. Quirinius never became emperor, and now I understand why.

I do not share his enthusiasm. Herod the Great also received predictions from astrologers. They had calculated how, twice in the spring of the year two hundred and ninety-nine, Jupiter would disappear behind the Moon in the constellation of Aries. That too was an unmistakable sign: the Ruler would die in Judea. Shortly before the calculated date, Herod killed his sons Alexander and Aristobulus on vague charges that they had plotted to murder him.

But the date passed and Herod remained in power. Shortly before his death, his mind proved even more rotten than his festering body. He asked the scribes where the Anointed Son of David would be born. When he heard that the prophet Micah had made a prediction about Bethlehem, where David himself had come from, he drew his pagan conclusion. He sent his soldiers to kill the boys who had been born around the calculated date.

Then Verènike takes us to her house. At the gate that leads to her house, she has erected a stone. On the stone are two bronze figures. One represents a woman, with one knee on the ground and her arms stretched upward. Opposite her stands a man reaching out his hands to her. He is a tall, slender man with a short beard like mine and his hair tied back in a plait, just like me. But my Jewish clothes (my head covering, the long undershirt, and the overcoat with the prayer tassels) have been replaced by the cloak of the Greek philosophers. She tells me that people come here to pray for healing and rise again strengthened.

People love it, even some of my students are enthusiastic. Here in this city full of idolatry, they think they are finding proof for their faith in me. I feel terrible. John is dead and I am going to die. Who will keep my friends in the law of God when I am no longer here? They are fishermen, farmers, and tax collectors. None of them have studied the law with . I wish my brother Jacob would join us. If anyone knows how to recognize idolatry and fight it, it is he.

Once again, I am reminded of the prophet Elijah. Jezebel forced the prophets to serve her idols and killed those who refused. Elijah felt like the last warrior for God on earth; all his work had come to nothing. I went out to the pagans, and instead of serving God, they are leading my own disciples into idolatry.

Discouraged, Elijah asked the Lord to let him die. But God summoned him to the mountain where Moses had once received the law. There he met God. Not in the wind, the earthquake, or the fire that preceded God's arrival, but in the whisper of a gentle breeze. God's light was there. Elijah covered his face with his cloak and lamented. But God comforted him. There were still thousands of faithful among the people, the kings of Israel and Syria who threatened them would lose their thrones. And he had to call Elisha and train him to continue his work.

I long for the whisper of a gentle breeze. My father is calling me.

 

The mountain                                    

The city of Caesarea that was built by Philip lies at the foot of mighty Mount Hermon. As a child, I sometimes saw it when I was tending my mother's goats on the hills of Nazareth. I found it most impressive when there were clouds above the Sea of Galilee. The snow-covered peak seemed to float.

I take Peter and my cousins James and John with me up the mountain to pray. After a while, my friends roll over from sleep. But I feel no fatigue. As I continue to pray, I feel myself being enveloped in a strange kind of light. I feel the whisper of a gentle coolness. Two heavenly figures are with me. I know they are Moses and Elijah, the law and the prophets. They radiate incredible power and love. They know all my questions. And I see the answers in one great knowledge. I see John in Elijah's eyes. I see myself dying in Jerusalem. While the priests slaughter the Passover lamb in the temple, I give my flesh and blood. But the temple is not made of stone. It is made of people. God makes me the keystone at the top of the arch, which opens the gateway. The nations stream through that gate. They seek the God of Israel. Everyone who comes joins in like a stone, until the temple and the gate are so big that they cover the whole world. It's the third day when Israel sees me again. My brothers and I hug each other. I'm alive.

 

"Master!" Peter's voice rings out. They have awakened. "It is good that we are here. Let us make three tents. One for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah." He also knows who they are, but he has no idea of their significance. The light becomes a thick fog around us. A voice sounds, like the one that sounded when John baptized me. "This is my Son, whom I have chosen. Listen to him." Then the fog lifts again. We are alone.

 

As we descend the mountain in the morning light, I urge them not to tell anyone what they have seen until the Son of Man has risen from the dead. I don't think they can understand " " "rising from the dead." Someone asks, "Why do the teachers of the law say that Elijah must come first before the Anointed One comes and redeems Israel?"

'It is true that Elijah must come first. But what do you think is meant when Daniel hears that the Anointed One will die, and when Isaiah cries out that the servant of the Lord will be despised? But believe me, Elijah has come, and they have done to him whatever they wanted. For the prophets and the law have spoken about John. He is Elijah who was to come. Since the days of the Baptist, the kingdom of God has been breaking through with power. The powerful try to seize it, but God will crush them."

 

My friends remain silent. I let them walk ahead of me, because I cannot share my feelings with them right now. The loving light from above still shines within me. It is as if all the prophets are speaking to me. They all saw parts of God's plan during their days on earth. But now their words fall into place. Like the words Hosea spoke:

 

Come, let us return to the LORD.

Though He has torn us, He will heal us.

Though He has wounded us, He will bind up our wounds.

 

After two days He will revive us.

On the third day He will raise us up.

So that we may live in His presence.                                      Hosea 6:1,2

 

David:

 

            Open to me the gates of righteousness; I will enter and give thanks to the Lord.

            This is the gate of the Lord; the righteous shall enter through it.

            I praise you for answering me and being my salvation.

            The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.

            The Lord has done this; it is marvelous in our eyes.              Psalm 118:19-23

 

Daniel:

 

            A large idol had been erected, magnificent and imposing.     

            But without human intervention, a stone broke loose from the foundation,

            which rolled against the fragile pedestal and shattered it.

            And the statue, which represented the powerful kingdoms of the earth,

            became like chaff in a dry summer wind: no trace of it remained.

            But the stone that struck the statue became a great mountain,

            which filled the whole earth: the kingdom of God.                        Daniel 2:31, 34, 35, (44)

 

And Isaiah:

 

            Therefore, mockers, rulers of Jerusalem, hear the word of the Lord:

 

            I lay in Jerusalem the cornerstone, a tested stone,

            a precious cornerstone, a sure foundation.

            Those who trust in him will not be put to shame.

 

            The Lord will be a temple, but also a stone

            that causes people to stumble, a rock that makes them fall.

            No longer bear witness, seal the law among my disciples.

 

            I will wait for the Lord, who hides his face from Israel,

            In Him I will hope, I and the children whom the Lord has given me.

            We are signs and symbols for Israel from the Almighty God.

           

            The Lord brings honor to Galilee of the Gentiles,

            the way of the sea to the other side of the Jordan.

            For a child has been born to us, a son has been given to us.

 

            The government will rest on his shoulders, and he will be called:

            Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

            His dominion will be great, and peace will be endless on the throne of David.

                                                                                       Isaiah 28:14,16, 8:14,16-18,23b 9:5,6

Paganism II                                                  

 

At the foot of the mountain, I am brought back down to earth. A large crowd is arguing heatedly with my disciples. What is going on here? A man cries out, "Master, I beg you to look at my son, for he is my only child. He has seizures and convulsions. The devil makes him scream until he foams at the mouth. I have told your disciples to drive out the devil in your name, but they cannot.'

That's it. That's how you talk to God, and that's how you come face to face with paganism. People seeking healing through external means, through magic formulas, through my name.

"You are all unbelieving pagans. How long must I put up with this? Bring your son here. How long has he been like this?"

"Since he was a child. Sometimes he even falls into the fire or the water. But no one can heal him. Can you perhaps help him?"

'Me? It's not about my work. It's about you. Only when you trust him can God help you.'

The man's eyes fill with tears of despair. Then he says, "I trust him, but help me with my doubts."

I feel that my father wants to help him and turn to the boy: "Sick spirit, I command you: come out of that boy and never return!" The boy falls and begins to shake violently. Then he lies perfectly still. I take his hand to help him up and give him back to his father.

 

A little later, my disciples ask me why I got so angry and why they couldn't heal the boy. I explain it to them. "It's not about the magic of my name, because that's idolatry. It's about prayer in trust in God."

John replies, "Teacher, we have seen someone else here casting out evil spirits in your name. We tried to stop him because he does not follow you with us."

"You don't need to stop him. If he heals someone in my name, he won't immediately mock me. And whoever is not against you is with you."

 

I want to return to the Jewish territories. God will reach the Gentiles after I have given my life in Jerusalem. Until then, I am here first and foremost for my own people. On the way, our circle of friends begins to fall apart. No wonder. I have told them that I will be arrested and executed.  They do not understand the words that I will rise from the dead on the third day. Peter, James, and John hardly speak. And I too am thinking about completely different things. Some are shocked that I have given up the fight, others are thinking about my succession. I do not have the energy to go into it.

 

When I get home to Peter and Andrew's house, I come back to it. "If any of you want to be the best, let him be the best servant. Everyone's servant." Of course, they don't want to tell me that they were already dividing up the inheritance. I call one of the little children over to me. I take him on my lap. "Unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of God. Whoever humbles himself like a child is the greatest in the kingdom of God. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. And whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me."

 

After this, I get up and look for my brother Jacob. He turns out to be with Master Joshua. When I enter, they are praying. I go outside again. A little later, they come to me. I tell them about the pagans in Caesarea of Philip. They are shocked. "Repent, Yeshua. You have started something, and all that will come of it is idolatry." "Can I still find forgiveness?" Joshua falls silent. Then he says, "If others have followed the sinner, his sin can no longer be forgiven." "And what if I have not sinned?" "Are you so far gone that you no longer see your own sin?"